If you have been watching television lately you may have run into a few shows about start-up companies. There is a show on Bloomberg Television called Tech Stars that highlights 5 or more of the hottest most beautiful, most well funded companies in NYC. I was watching the show and I could not get over how beautiful these companies were. Why each of them sounded just like Facebook or at least they all spoke like Mark Zuckerberg, In short robotic soundbites sort of a cross between a Valley girl and Dustin Hoffman's character in Rain Man Raymond Babbit. I mean this is where investing is today in America. There just is not a differentiation among the profiles of start-ups. That is why we are trying to change. I don't think we have a chance of getting funding unless we can talk in these short sound bites that the rest of the start-up community has adopted. We need a few things to succeed based on the start-ups that have received funding. I have made a list.
1. We need an Ivy League founder.
2, He or she must have a thin appearance and or look like Ronald MacDonald.
3. Must have a relatively vague yet "OK this might work" business plan. (this will make it easy to convince the rest of robotic America to start using the tech.
4. We better have an attitude that work is the only thing and we should all sleep in the office except when our mom insist we come home for dinner.
5. Facial hair and a cool hair cut. Skip the facial hair for women but oops there really are not that many start-up women anyway.
6. Analytics, we need analytics, there has to be some type of data that we can collect and report that will eventually destroy humanity. We need this data so that we can make people do what we want them to do. You know like buy peanut butter or something. I mean what good is doing a business unless we can scrape the inside of a person cabeza.
7. We must think that what we are doing is fun and always smile.
8. Like you know ...like.....awesomeness. MUST HAVE!
9. Nerf balls and beer.
10.Collaboration, we need interns that we can steal ideas from , I mean collaborate with,
11. We need classes on how to start a start-up. Mandatory.
12. We need a few tall thin Mentors. You know someone that made money two years ago with a tech that no longer exists.
That should do it.
In the mean time Jie and I will change tomorrow or the next day but not today. We have work to do. We are in the News Business or at least trying to help you be in the News Business.
1. We need an Ivy League founder.
2, He or she must have a thin appearance and or look like Ronald MacDonald.
3. Must have a relatively vague yet "OK this might work" business plan. (this will make it easy to convince the rest of robotic America to start using the tech.
4. We better have an attitude that work is the only thing and we should all sleep in the office except when our mom insist we come home for dinner.
5. Facial hair and a cool hair cut. Skip the facial hair for women but oops there really are not that many start-up women anyway.
6. Analytics, we need analytics, there has to be some type of data that we can collect and report that will eventually destroy humanity. We need this data so that we can make people do what we want them to do. You know like buy peanut butter or something. I mean what good is doing a business unless we can scrape the inside of a person cabeza.
7. We must think that what we are doing is fun and always smile.
8. Like you know ...like.....awesomeness. MUST HAVE!
9. Nerf balls and beer.
10.Collaboration, we need interns that we can steal ideas from , I mean collaborate with,
11. We need classes on how to start a start-up. Mandatory.
12. We need a few tall thin Mentors. You know someone that made money two years ago with a tech that no longer exists.
That should do it.
In the mean time Jie and I will change tomorrow or the next day but not today. We have work to do. We are in the News Business or at least trying to help you be in the News Business.
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